Why Hiring Your Mom as Your Nanny is an Awful Idea—and can ruin your relationship
Hiring your mom as your nanny may sound like a great idea. Millions of parents around the country utilize their parents to help them out with their kids. However, this may not be the best idea for everyone.
Hiring parents as childcare helpers can become problematic for a variety of reasons. If you think having your mom watch your kids can save you money and a headache in the long run, think again.
Here are the important things to consider before hiring your mother to babysit your children:
Why Do People Hire Their Parents to Watch Their Kids?
Many people opt to have their parents look after their kids while they are at work. For some, they believe it will save them money. However, these days, grandmothers may expect to be compensated for their time.
Another top reason parents have their children’s grandparents watch their kids is convenience. Knowing this person intimately can make it easier to trust the person in charge of keeping the kids safe.
These are great reasons to consider hiring your mom to watch your kids. But don’t forget, with every pro there may be a con—and it can get ugly, fast.
Why You SHOULD NOT Hire Your Mom
Although several pros exist to hiring your mom for childcare, let’s examine the reasons it can be a bad idea. Here are the top reasons you should reconsider having the grandparents watch their grandchildren:
Never good to work with family
It is a rule of thumb to never work with family. Why? Because things get personal—and fast. Family members believe they receive special treatment. This can also include offering unwarranted advice or “taking matters into their own hands” without clearing it with you first.
Not establishing boundaries is a recipe for your mom to completely overstep them. These blurred lines of rules and expectations create monstrous difficulties. They can even sever relationships.
Different parenting styles
When you hire a nanny, they know their role is to not fulfill a parental role. The role of a nanny includes the following:
- Care for the child
- Keep them clean
- Light housework
- Cooking
- Possible laundry
- Transportation to and from activities
- And more
When you hire your parent to watch your kids, these lines are again blurred. Your parent will assumably utilize their own parenting styles on your children. They believe they are entitled because the children are blood and they are the grandparent. Additionally, they raised you, so they will undoubtedly use the same parenting techniques on your kids—even if you do not employ those same tactics. This can become confusing for your children and disrupt the household in the long-run.
Spoiling
What grandparent does not spoil their grandchildren? Grandchildren can be the greatest gift on the planet. However, this can quickly create unhealthy expectations and bad habits.
Nannies are not entitled to provide treats and special treatment to children. Grandparents are permitted this luxury. Merging these two worlds creates complications and confusion for the children.
Missing out on social opportunities
When grandparents watch their grandchildren, they may miss out on social opportunities. If your parent is older, odds are they are not taking the kids out of the house.
A lack of social opportunities is not healthy for growing children. A study showed social exclusion can be harmful to kids. It can cause emotional and behavioral health problems including anxiety and depression. This wreaks havoc on their self-esteem. It can also cause kids to turn inward and even affect their academic performance.
Resentment
If you use your mom to watch your kids, they may eventually feel taken advantage of. Whether you are paying them or not, this can chip away at your relationship. Resent destroys relationships.
Grandparents oftentimes feel taken advantage of as their golden years are being dedicated to raising another set of children. Many grandparents may not want to watch their grandchildren but feel obligated to. These are some of the best years of their lives, and they may want to spend them more independently.
Bottom Line
If you are in a bind and need quick assistance, having your mom as your nanny may work—in the short run. Working with family usually causes problems in the long run. Your parent may have a different parenting style than you, which can strain your relationship and confuse your kids.
You can ruin your relationship with your parent from these boundaries being overstepped. Grandparents may feel taken advantage of and the kids should not be overly spoiled each day. Your children must also attend social outings to receive the opportunities and experiences they need to cognitively flourish.
Instead, consider hiring a professional nanny service to locate the best nanny for your kids. At Job Info Service, we can help you find the right professional nanny with our strategic nanny listing platform. We offer top industry nannies with vetted backgrounds in our directory. Let us help you take the stress out of finding great childcare services.
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